I’ve been looking forward to this film since it was first announced. I never reviewed the first Thor (I was going to tonight, but saw this film in theaters. I’ll review the first some point within the next week), but I loved it and find it the second best MCU movie. The theater near my house was having a special early showing tonight, so I made sure to go and see it early. And this was a HUGE disappointment. I really wish I just stayed home and played a video game (Mass Effect sounds good) or did math homework. I don’t feel like thinking about this film much longer, so let’s just get into it.
Notable returning cast members in the film include Chris Hemsworth as Thor, Natalie Portman as Jane Foster, Tom Hiddleston as Loki, Anthony Hopkins as Odin, Kat Dennings as Darcy Lewis, and Stellan Skarsgard as Erik Selvig. There were other returning cast members such as Jaimie Alexander as Sif, whoever played the Warriors Three, whoever played Heimdall, and others who I don’t feel like naming, but they really had no relevance to anything. The cast once again does well in the role, though Natalie Portman is just underwhelming. Still a passable job though, so I won’t complain too much.
New cast members include Christopher Eccleston as Malekith, and Adewake Akinnuoye-Agbaje as Kurse/Algrim the Strong. That’s it. There is some guy who plays Darcy’s assistant, but he’s only there for bad humor. There honestly isn’t much to say about the cast, since they don’t do much. I can’t say much beyond that, they just don’t do much.
One thing I give this film credit for is that Malekith wasn’t an actor hired by some guy Thor p*ssed off years ago like Mandarin was (I know that’s an Iron Man 3 spoiler, but it’s been out on DVD for over a month. I can list spoilers). However, as angering as that was, it was at least an interesting plot twist. Malekith isn’t that interesting here. I am a huge fan of him in the comics, but he was just a boring, generic villain with no real plans here. He does have a plan (which I won’t go into because of spoilers), but they never give any motivation for his plans. It’s almost like he’s bored and just needs a hobby to keep him busy. I feel like they did this so that way more time could be put on Loki, but Loki barely did anything here other than many plot twists (which we’ll cover in a second).
Also, I have a serious question about the Dark Elves. When they’re by themselves, they talk this really weird language. I don’t know if this is some language from Norse Mythology or if it was just made up (I don’t remember it from the comics), but here’s my question: Why go through the work to create or translate an entire language for the Dark Elves, if they just speak English in every other scene. It makes sense that they have their own language (all of the races from the Nine Realms should), but what’s the point in showing it if it doesn’t have any relevance?
So Many Plot Twists
Is Vince Russo writing for Marvel Studios now (wrestling fans will get that)? Seriously, this film is just filled with so many needless plot twists. I’m fine with one or even two huge ones, but there were so many here I can’t count them all. There are just so many that you just stop caring what happens that by the time something huge and significant happens (which I won’t go into to avoid spoilers). The film ends on a huge cliffhanger which could make an extremely great Thor 3 (it wouldn’t fit in with Avengers: Age of Ultron), but I just didn’t care what happened at this point. Honestly, there’s one point where a plot twist which is somewhat interest happens, and they throw another plot twist two minutes later that makes the previous twist pointless. What is the point of all this?
One thing I do give this film credit for is not focusing on humor as much as previous MCU films like Avengers & IM3. There are a few small jokes throughout the movie, but nothing major (I enjoyed Stan Lee’s cameo, but I won’t say where he is. Just know to look for him). However, during the final battle (if I can call it that), they just throw so much humor in that it takes away from all the seriousness. I admit it would be funny, but it’s just too pathetic to be funny. I only laughed twice during this film. Once during Stan Lee’s cameo (which I almost missed because I was so bored I wasn’t paying attention), and once during a scene with Thor & Loki (I won’t say what happens, but let’s just say a recognizable character shows up. Kind of).
Well, technically Mid-Credits Scene. I read that there is a Post-Credits scene, but I didn’t care enough to stick around and watch it. Anyway, I give this film credit for teasing a future film with this scene, which is something I hated from Iron Man 3. And I can understand a casual movie watcher who doesn’t know comics being confused (imagine what they must have been thinking when Fury showed up at the end of the first Iron Man). However, it really says something when I can’t figure out what the hell is going on. I’ll describe this scene the best I can. Just skip the next paragraph to avoid spoilers.
Sif & Volstagg are in some place (no clue where), and want to hand over something to a guy they call “The Collector” (no, not the Collectors from Mass Effect 2. That would have been cool). He asks why they don’t store it in Asgard and Volstagg says “We already have the Tesseract on Asgard. It’s dangerous to have two Infinity Stones there.” Collector then says (when they leave): “One stone down. Five to go.” Uh… what? I read on Wikipedia that this Collector guy is suppose to help set up Guardians of the Galaxy. While I’m not a fan of the Guardians, I give them credit for doing this. However, everything else said makes no sense. First off, they’re the Infinity Gems, not Infinity Stones. I’m assuming the writers had no clue what they were talking about and confused them with the Norn Stones, so fine. But the Tesseract is not an Infinity “stone.” It’s suppose to be a cinematic version of the Cosmic Cube, which isn’t connected to the Infinity Gauntlet. Plus, if you look closely in a scene in the first Thor movie, you can see the Gauntlet with all six gems (or stones) in the Gauntlet. So, having two “stones” on Asgard is trouble, but all six isn’t? Plus, how did they all get separated? Wouldn’t some scene with Thanos (or someone like that) just sneaking into Asgard and stealing the entire gauntlet be better? Nothing here makes any sense at all.
No Spoilers Now
Just wanted to grab your attention so you know that no more spoilers are here.
It’s hard to explain the story here for a couple of reasons. 1) I might give spoilers, and 2) It’s too under-explained in the film to explain it here. As previously stated, Malekith doesn’t have any real motives, so I couldn’t bring those up in mentioning the plot. I could point out little things that should be plot points, but together, they’re all lacking a true story when put together.
Even without a great story, there should be some great fights, right? Wrong. Most of the fights in the film have so many people that it’s hard to keep track of, so all I can see is that everyone is punching someone randomly. The only one on one fight I remember is Thor & Malekith in the climax, but it really wasn’t a fight. It was more teleportation, bad humor, and not staying true to the comics.
I can come up with a better story
I’m not saying I sat down and thought of a way to make this a better film. I did think of something that the film didn’t explain that I came up with something for off the top of my head. It will have slight spoilers, but it has no relevance on the plot (what plot?). However, feel free to skip it if you want to know nothing before seeing this.
Erik Selvig has pretty much went insane since The Avengers. He’s still a genius, but is just completely insane at this point. They never give a reason of why though. My best guess is he isn’t taking any prescription pills (which he doesn’t), but that doesn’t prove it. My idea was that Loki mind controlling him in The Avengers did this to him. While he was able to take control of his body back, Loki messed with his mind too much that he’s mentally unstable, thus explaining why he’s acting so insane. This could have been mentioned in one line of dialogue and then they could have moved on, with an explanation of why he’s acting like this that makes sense. But nope, let’s make people guess.
As you can probably tell, I didn’t like this move. And I am a HUGE Thor fan and am one of the biggest supporters of the first film, so that’s what makes this so painful. I wanted to like this film, and kept hoping it would get better. But it didn’t. I considered walking out, but I decided that the tickets were paid for, I was staying until the Mid-Credits scene. I just stopped caring about this film and made up my own movie (so the cops knew Internal Affairs were setting them up?). If you liked this film, that’s fine. You clearly got something out of this I didn’t. But this is my review, I am allowed to express my opinion. I’m really worried for Captain America: The Winter Soldier now.
My Overall Rating: 2/5 Stars.